alreadyspoken4 blogs

I'm a kind person, who cares about people.

I don't have a lot of friends, because I don't identify with most of the social groups in my area, and I don't treat girls like shit, or as objects.

I don't understand why assholes have friends and can find girl after girl to give up their pussies to them.

I don't want just sex, I want a relationship.

I try to confide in people, and the few truly wonderful and loving people I've known have passed away, or moved away.

It's so easy to find people who love to prey on good people and add to their pain by being mean to them, and so hard to find someone who cares. 

You may judge me however you like. I try to not be judgemental of anyone, atleast until I get to know them. 

I have been through a lot in my life already, and most of it painful- emotionally, physically or both.

This is not a cry for attention, although I like attention. This is simply the feelings of a 22 year old who's fed up with how shallow and self-centered the world has become, or always has been. 

 I'm 22, a Christian male.

I'm torn between my vows to my faith and my cravings for love.

I'm trying to wait until I am married to lose my virginity, and I've dated a girl who was abstainent too. It was great having someone to hold and kiss, but the male inside of me wanted more. I don't mind waiting, it's just the lonliness of it all. 

I get the need to watch you people in your videos, so I can get aroused and relieve myself, but it makes me sad afterwards. I want to experience those things... I want to have a woman for myself, to feel the pleasures that love and love-making brings. 

I'm not sure what to do anymore.

I suffer from a type of depression, that got worse after I had my heart broken.

I just want to be happy, and have someone to love.... Do I have to give up, and just have sex in order to get that girl, or is there someone out there that I should wait for? 

It's not the impossibility of losing my virginity, because I know I can find someone for that, but it's the loving person within me that doesn't want to give up the only thing I feel I have sexually, my virginity... and not have a partner who will be with me after sex, but rather a one-time-pop, so to speak. I don't want to experience such joy, and then have to be alone again afterwards. I want to have someone whom with I can express my sexuality with wildly, and then curl up with her in bed, and show my affection for her, then wake up in the morning, and every day, to see her beautiful face, right next to mine. 

I never did any of the things I watch on this site. 

I would appreciate women's responces, as well as men's.

Am I a loser, or missing out if I wait, or is there a good reason to?