There are many substitutes for pleasure in this world.  We constantly strive to derive pleasure from anywhere we can, whatever might be available.  We pleasure ourselves with simple substances like coffee or sugar.  Some of us look to alcohol and other substances.  Some of us keep our lovers close at hand, others find pleasure in the experience of a new touch, from a new partner.

Once we find a reliable source of pleasure, it's hard not to return to it, time and time again.

I find pleasure in the moments after i share a new video, or photos.  The anticipation of knowing that i'm sending them out into the world, to (hopefully) be enjoyed by someone. 

There's a rush of excitement, the beating of my heart becomes noticeable in my chest... more often than not, i masturbate as it's uploading... as i watch the status bar slowly edge towards completion... thoughts of people seeing it for the first time, watching me at my most vulerable and exposed. 

The sensation usually lasts a couple of hours, even a whole day... while i wonder if people have seen it... if they've liked it or not... if it's aroused anybody.  As the excitement wears off, i can give it a bit of a boost by checking in, seeing how many people have viewed them, or if anyone has commented.  Like a ripple of warmth washing over my body as i'm rewarded with knowing that my video or photos are well-received.

Despite those ripples of pleasure drifting out from those moments... it only lasts so long until i want to share something else, something new... giving myself to strangers, sitting in their homes, or on their smartphones... hoping that i can be a moment of pleasure for someone out there.