Ya, I think that it is over, the last vestiges of my sexuality, swept away like a big useless trashy,,,sweepy thing. Ten years of trying, and I have not been able to find a woman to date long enough to see her boobies, or in most cases, take off her coat and sit down (that might be an exaggeration).


Also since I have been seriously thinking of men (well, not my first choice, but at least it is some form of physical contact) low these last 5 or 6 years, and only having given only one blowjob; I think there is no shame in failing. Well, maybe there is, like if I can't so much as get a hug in ten years, I guess am truly repulsive in a non human way.


You have heard of the “anti-Christ”, well I am, and I can say without depression or self deprecation, I am indeed,the “anti-Brad Pitt” (or whoever is the flavour of the month).


Why should you give a rats ass, well, you shouldn't, just know that no matter how bad things get, you are at least, not me.


You see after millions of years of evolution, and conditioning, sex is the basis of everything, perhaps moreso than food, it is what drives us. If you are one of those who thinks that we are “above all that”, it is not important, or that, since you are getting some, “it is no big thing”, well, try going without for a few years, and then, not having it (or lack thereof) obsess your every thought. Now try that for ten years.


So last night it really hit me how useless I am. Fortunately, I was pretty much over it by bed time, and feel great this morning.


Now to some of  will think, “that is tough, but so what”, however to the rest out there, perhaps the vast majority who have battled with depression, being “down” for only an evening would be like a gift from God.


I sit here penning this (does that usage of the word still apply in the electronic age?), and don't feel all that bad about being the most loathsome creature on the planet. You see, I have been working on myself since 84, and yes it has been a long battle, but I was only “down” for an evening and now feel good again.


If you understand how amazing this is, well I don't have to say anything else; but remember you are not the lowest thing on the earth, I am, and if I can feel good, I know you can too.


Be happy, be good to others, and remember that you are important, and to be good to yourself.


 Alan



 

Well this is to leet you know that, while I had manr responces to my advert, no one called me in. Many asked if I was a woman, even after in the advert I said that i was a "guy".

But as I said, no one wants me, or even to use me. This must be understood, before my next post will have any neabing.

Oralalan

Fortunately jobs ar plentifull where I am (for now, I remember many years where they were hard to come by), but since most jobs suck and I have not had a woman in 10 years (which is why I am reluctantly switching to guys), so I thought that I would try this, and it is working. Only 5 responces, but I am a pioneer, I am on the cutting edge.

One guy said that he and his staff would love to have me there, so if is not too bad or if I can just be the "moral" guy; I will be freakin' set!

I will let you know how this turns out, either way these will at least be great interviews!

I will keep you posted

Oralalan

Ps. I just have to say, "talk about a blow job!" and "wow, my job does suck!" Ha Ha

Hi;

Time for another fantasy, however one that I do want to happen (and will with your help, it will).

I am out of work, nothing is wrong, I just took some time off to write, and had a really fun year (no sex, unfortunately).

I will probably not be able to afford to take another year off, so I decided that if I have to work, well, I will blow my bosses (and swallow, nice and clean). I don't have to, there are plenty of jobs around, but all jobs suck; that is unless, I get to suck.

So let it be known that I am looking for almost any job (especially fast food, as they work really hard, and I don't mind fast food), as long as at the beginning or end of shift, my boss will fill my mouth with his own special “energy drink”.

I think that this will make my day go faster and make the shift better for the boss (es) and myself.

So if you know anyone in Edmonton who needs help, and would love to have a blowjob every shift, email me.

alantheslut@hotmail.com

alan

Ps. It would make quite an incentive plan, work hard, get a blowjob. Of course, adults only, that is why a warehouse or industreal plant might be best (and more fun).

 

If you have watched my video you know that I like knobs (trying not to use dirty words, for now); I would in a perfect world have a girlfriend and never even think about knobs.

Being imperfect, my world will have knobs and they will be sucked, you see I could never have feelings for a guy, I am a guy that is how I feel. What others are is also cool with me.

This is also why I have been searching for (hopefully) straight, sexually frustrated guys, who just want to get there rocks off in a warm set of slutty lips, do some hard humping and maybe spanking, lots of verbal abuse and giving away, used at parties, or selling to friends and strangers for charity (my personal favorite).

Yes, it is quite kinky, but if I can't have the love of a woman, I want physical contact, without any chance of starting to “care”.

Here's the thing, 15 years ago I got to suck a guy and it was fun, but then I got married. After that ended with her trying to kill me, I basically was without, and have been without ever since.

About a month ago I had the chance to suck off a guy (see my video), but it has been so long that I need more than one load from a soundless stranger; so I want a main guy or guys, and since I want to be slutty for a while, I will do anyone they tell me to;  however once again, I don't want to be pleasured, just to be used, and have the video.

I would like to be laid on my back, legs tied tight in the air, so I can still suck and catch it on my face or down my throat.

Here's the thing; my ass is a virgin, I have never been used. So how do I loose it on video so  it is interesting (and will feel real gooooood).

If you are in Edmonton and are 18+ (the older, the better as you would be more frustrated and intense), and want some fucking practice with a whore who will take all you can give and beg for more, then I am your slut!

If you have other virgin friends, even better, it will hurt, but most importantly, it would be that crazed fucking of a virgin. Hands digging into my hips, fucking me like a rag doll (no matter how much I scream), and then that first virgin scream of release, this is what I want my first time to be like.

Yes, in a perfect world I would live a happy dull life, with one woman, but that wont happen, so, if you are a virgin and want fucking practice, I want to be your whore!

 

Hi again;

I have another fantasy, I would like to spend an afternoon at a nen's shelter, doing my bit to bring some joy into there lives. I would lay me down (with a camera to capture my face in action) on a bed and take it in both ends until my job was done and everyone was happy.