Well ...its close to April 1972...

I Got hurt by 2 guys, a year older than me...........

 Is that the life for me?

No I could not bare the thought.............I was hurting physically and mentally.

Oh God ....what do I do?

 Can I Survive?

 Is this it?

I can't keep crying........who do I tell?

Now I  hear the words in my mind.

 Bloody fag........queer.........scum...........dirty bastard.

No I can't be...........can I?

Do I tell dad.......I hurt......doctors?

 No its back to me...........a lad........under 16...........

I cant go out..............mum says I'm  so quiet ...

 Its hell.....my mind is in turmoil.

I tell my parents I hate work.

 I need to get away from the hate .....I hurt...

I cry........Jesus........what do I do?

Got to tell bosses I hate college......move me

 No they can't .......things said by them to me, don't help.

Decide.............I need to decide.

Tell Dad I am no good at job, that will satisfy

 I leave .............Dad signs me off ..........

Dilemma ....................what now?

Wait.......... thats it !!!!!

 Wait...................not long and find out.............is the world just HATE?

16 years and 2 days. it was a Saturday ........

Dressed in my hidden lingerie, trousers and jacket covers well.... went into Lincoln and to the toilets .......

 I know scary.....but I needed to find out if I was attractive or if  I was just a BIG  LOSER.

Is it to be HATE ?

Looking in a stained mirror.

I see a pretty young lady .........is that me?

Nice in black stockings, bra, suspender belt, 2 inch ladies shoes, and black knickers.

 I open my bag...........get out 2 inch ladies shoes....black

Things begin to blur with time what exactly happened.

But i got the answer, I had so dared to deam of

 Close to 10 pm went to Broadgate chippy and felt great ......I sat in the back restaurant ...basically alone eating a lovely fish and chips supper ...and my head was spinning.

What Had I Achieved?

I WAS LOVED..............I Cried with joy in my bedroom after the taxi home.

What next?

 Well I may write about that.................